Frank Hagan Posted December 1, 2003 Report Share Posted December 1, 2003 I have to apologize to those of you who entered the 2004 calendar contest. I had intended to get the proofs done and the winning pics announced this past week. As most of you know, my father has been ill for the last few years, and we had a week-long crisis situation that pretty much destroyed any other activity. So I am hopelessly behind on the calendar, which I know all of you understand. I just wanted the people who contributed shots to know what was going on. Many of you know my dad's condition from my essay "The Question" that, indirectly, led to the founding of messing-about.com. I'll share these details here because of that, but remember that none of this is a surprise for us. He is now in and out of a comatose state in the hospital, and will, if stabilized, be sent to a nursing home. We suspect he will die within a few days of that move, if he doesn't before then. If he doesn't slip into a coma permanently (which will mean he will die within 3 days due to lack of dialysis), his congestive heart failure will cause death within 3 months at the outside. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wild_Dingo Posted December 1, 2003 Report Share Posted December 1, 2003 Frank sorry to hear about your dad... may he be at peace when the time comes for him to take his next jouney... take your time mate believe me I know what your going through having recently lost my mum (1 month ago and still trying to come to terms with it) its a trying time for all. We aint goin nowhere but thanks for the headsup... appreciated... as I said from downunder you just take all the time you need mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fintan Murphy Posted December 1, 2003 Report Share Posted December 1, 2003 My thoughts are with you Frank. At least he can go in the knowledge that he has instilled in you the good qualities that he has, and that you have passed those on to your own children. I suggest that you should repost "The Question" here, for those who have never had the good fortune to read it. It certainly touched me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Taylor Posted December 1, 2003 Report Share Posted December 1, 2003 Hold fast Frank, these days will certainly be tough but we all are destined to endure the rough times to make us appreciate the good ones. Been where you're at, survived, so will you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johannah Posted December 1, 2003 Report Share Posted December 1, 2003 Frank, we, too, walked this road twice in the past year. Your dad and all who care for him have our heartfelt prayers. May his passing be peaceful. He is loved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Pyeatt Posted December 1, 2003 Report Share Posted December 1, 2003 My heart is with you as well Frank, lost both my parents within the same year, my father to congestive heart failure brought on by cancer. It is difficult to accept and to go thru, but the end was peaceful for both my parents and they were at peace with the world and their situations. My blessings to youir Dad and to you and your family. It is always more difficult during the holidays. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capt jake Posted December 1, 2003 Report Share Posted December 1, 2003 My thoughts are with you Frank. I am so sorry to here of this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill Posted December 1, 2003 Report Share Posted December 1, 2003 Sailed the same waters this year with my own Dad. Our thoughts are with you! Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Anonymous Posted December 1, 2003 Report Share Posted December 1, 2003 I suggest that you should repost "The Question" here, for those who have never had the good fortune to read it. It certainly touched me. http://users2.ev1.net/~fshagan/question.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ken connors Posted December 2, 2003 Report Share Posted December 2, 2003 Frank, sorry to hear of your troubles. be thankful for the time youve had with your Dad. mine passed on when i was just 15. you both are very lucky to have had each other around for so long. im sure hes as proud of you as you are of him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Downs Posted December 2, 2003 Report Share Posted December 2, 2003 Great story Frank. I was very touched. Reminds me a lot of my Dad, such a great builder (brick layer and stone mason) but now is a shadow of his former self, struggling to breathe, hanging on to life and there's nothing I can do to help. Thank goodness for memories. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 2, 2003 Report Share Posted December 2, 2003 Frank, I am not much with words. But as many, here, have express their sentiments , I too will be thinking of you and your family. And as always. thanks for your great work here, with this site. I am not able to share much, but I come here and read and enjoy all the fellows here, in their comaradary, and mispelled words, like many of mine. Mike and Linda. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Pyeatt Posted December 2, 2003 Report Share Posted December 2, 2003 After reading "The Question", I'm moved beyond belief. You have written a beautiful piece honoring your father. I wish I could express how I felt about my relationship with my father late in his life. It was so much better than it had been just a few years earlier. Once we got past the petty differences and I began to tolerate his views on things that I didn't agree with we began to develop a really good realtionship. I for one wish to thank you Frank for expressing with "The Question" that; which, I for one cannot bring myself to put in writing. And if I could, I know it wouldn't be nearly as well done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capt jake Posted December 2, 2003 Report Share Posted December 2, 2003 Barry, ditto. I couldn't even put into words what I felt after reading this piece. You expressed my feelings as well. Frank, our thoughts and prayers are with you! And if I can assist in any way, please don't hesitate to ask me!! Serious now!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barnacle Jim Posted December 2, 2003 Report Share Posted December 2, 2003 Hi Frank, Your article is a touching tribute to your father. It beats with the rhythm of life, and more important, it has that simple touch of which life is so made up of. God bless with your father. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pat Mellema Posted December 2, 2003 Report Share Posted December 2, 2003 Frank I know what you are going through as I lost my father to cancer 5 years ago. He was the man I looked up to to give me the answers to life that never could be answered. He was not one to fix or do anything. He said I could use any tools that were around and started me on a life of fixing and building anything. His strong suite was sales and he could sell anything to just about anyone. I ended up with his abillity to sell things but also with the ability to make anything that I put my mind to. I will always remember his ability to tell me I could do anything I wanted to. One thing he didn't pass on to me was the ability to pass on an idea in words. It is one of the things I most wish I had the ability to do. He was my hero. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeaEagle Posted December 2, 2003 Report Share Posted December 2, 2003 Frank, I never knew my father but I am blessed with four Uncles who all incredibly special to me. I really can't imagine what you are going through. I can only reiterate the thoughts of everyone else - my thoughts are with you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russ Sylvester Posted December 2, 2003 Report Share Posted December 2, 2003 I remember when you first published that story a couple of years ago. Can't believe it's been that long. Re-reading it yet again for the umpteenth time, I must still be allergic to it as my throat gets tight and makes my sight go blurry. My prayers are for an obviously great and well loved giant of a man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Gowans Posted December 2, 2003 Report Share Posted December 2, 2003 Thanks, again Frank! This morning I took my Dad to the airport. He's been visiting for Thanksgiving. I'm one of the lucky ones that can still visit with his Dad. He's 86 and doing very well, all things considered. His biggest problem is his arthritis doesn't allow him to play his violin as much as he enjoys. We have had all the married grand kids and his 6 great grand kids around for the last week - now he'll get a little peace and quiet. I don't think living alone is really that much fun for him, but he still feels like he has a lot of important things to do. After all he spends about half of each day driving around some of his friends shopping, filling their medications, or doing other chores for them. He says he's not sure what some of those "old" people would do without him. I reread The Question this morning and enjoyed it just as much this time. I'm sorry to hear about your Dad, Frank. I'm reminded of what a dear neighbor said to me in the hospital before passing "Getting old is not for sissies". I think the way many people face the loss and trials of growing old, and illness requires more character than some of the things we usually associate with heroics and greatness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Hagan Posted December 2, 2003 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2003 Thanks, guys. I appreciate all the kind words, and they do help. My dad passed away quietly and peacefully this morning at 12:20 am. We are very thankful that he didn't suffer, as I know what some of you have gone through is heart wrenching. My mother let most of our relatives know in a email to our family mailing list, and I can't improve on what she said: Carl died very peacefully at 12:20 this morning. Linda, Frank, Kathy and I were with him, and we gathered around him and asked God to let it be easy for him and to surround him with peace. Within one minute of that prayer, he quietly stopped breathing. He was a man with no regrets, no enemies, and he lived the life of a hero, supporting and protecting his family. He handled this last 8 year illness with dignity and humor and kept us laughing to the end. He was very unique. Thank all of you for the support you've shown us and for the love in the messages you've sent. Now that it's over, I really am filled with peace. He fought so hard it's a release. I'm sure we'll miss him terribly, but the kids and I will only remember him with laughter and love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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