Konrad in Lincoln Posted March 6, 2003 Posted March 6, 2003 You know, after seven years, you'd think I'd have gotten the hang of this marriage thing. I changed the gearbox oil in the CR 500 a few weeks back, and didn't have an oil pan readily available in the basement. So I went upstairs and took one of our glass quart-size measuring cups down there and drained the oil into it. I thought, "My wife doesn't cook, she'll never even miss this thing." WRONG! :shock: Eventually several days later, I get it drained into a more appropriate container, and bring the now-oily-gooey glass meauring cup back into the house to wipe it out. She's there in the kitchen watching me, and she's giving me That Look. :shock: :shock: So... these words actually come out of my mouth, and I quote: "Next time, I'll do this when you're not around." See, the problem with saying that is twofold: 1: You imply that you have every intention of continuing the objectionable behavior, in spite of The Look. and... 2: You intend to do this objectionable behavior *in secret* so she won't know about it. :shock: :shock: :shock: Man, some days... :roll: Quote
Arnie Eaton Posted March 6, 2003 Posted March 6, 2003 I know the feeling. BUT! It sounds like you asked for it. Quote
Derek Posted March 6, 2003 Posted March 6, 2003 At this rate, I'm hoping you have a comfy couch or pull out in that basement! Quote
Stuart Benbow Posted March 6, 2003 Posted March 6, 2003 Konrad, You love living don't ya? Why oh why do you keep tempting fate. Had that been me, I'd be building a dog house instead of a boat, and moving my stuff in before the sun went down (and my wife doesn't even cook). I thought this was a lesson learned when you rode the bike up the stairs. If you're going to do something that the spouse will find objectionable, do it when they're not home, and say nothing ... especially about repeating the behaviour in secret. That little detail is strictly on a need to know basis. All in all though, definitely paints a wonderful mental picture. Quote
capt jake Posted March 6, 2003 Posted March 6, 2003 I love reading Konrad's posts! They always crack me up. Don't tell my wife either!! I have some measuring spoons in the shop right now; to measure non skid additive and other things! SHHHHHH! :D If she only knew!! ;) Quote
capt jake Posted March 6, 2003 Posted March 6, 2003 OOPS! She saw the measuring spoons (and the cook book, which I used to figure out some measurements) I am SOO busted! Konrad, she gave me the look! :shock: I told her not to worry it was only dry measurements! Still, she was not a happy camper. Oo :shock: Quote
Konrad in Lincoln Posted March 6, 2003 Author Posted March 6, 2003 Have NO fear, I'm a veteran of this situation, old Konrad can get you out... Simply quote my favorite quote of all, the one that will save you EVERY time... "It was like that when I got here." ~ Bart Simpson Quote
Derek Posted March 7, 2003 Posted March 7, 2003 "But I love you, honey" + a innocent, almost sheepish look worked for me when she walked in and found me mixing Weldwood up in a coffee cup that was part of our wedding dishes (only 5 months old!). Quote
capt jake Posted March 7, 2003 Posted March 7, 2003 It was like that when I got here Uhhh, Konrad, it didn't work! She didn't buy it, at all! But all is OK.. FOr now.. We have to go house hunting tommorrow! OOPS! :shock: Maybe all is not well........ "Bigger shop!!...... (her) Yeah right!!!" :D LOL Quote
Frank Hagan Posted March 7, 2003 Posted March 7, 2003 "But I love you' date=' honey" + a innocent, almost sheepish look worked for me when she walked in and found me mixing Weldwood up in a coffee cup that was part of our wedding dishes (only 5 months old!).[/quote']Ouch! :roll: That's as bad as when my wife caught me buffing the wax off the car with a hand towel we got as a wedding present. I made it worse by proclaiming that the car was worth $3,000 and the towel was about .59! (This was 1976, guys). And besides that, what's the use of having stuff you can never use? I have learned after 27 years of marraige. I now have entire ROOMS in the house that we cannot use. Do not try to understand it. Your head will explode. Just accept it. Quote
Guest Brett in Bangkok Posted March 7, 2003 Posted March 7, 2003 Like the boy said to his father, "Dad, in some countries a man doesn't know his wife until after he marries her!" Father replies, "No son, that happens in EVERY country". Quote
Russ Sylvester Posted March 7, 2003 Posted March 7, 2003 Wow, thanks Frank. I thought our house was the only one where entire rooms are "Off Limits". We went shopping a couple of years ago for a new couch, love seat, etc. and when she found a set that she said she liked I immediately gave it that football game on TV watching plop down. She went nuts, "Get Off!". I said that I wanted to try it out and see if it was comfortable and she informed me that I wasn't to ever sit on it again. Kind of a waste of time I figured. That's OK, it wasn't (and still isn't) very comfortable anyway. My best story is when after sanding for a while in the garage I guess my daughter went in and out of the door leading into the house several times. I got a tap on the shoulder and the 'come here' finger with a pissed face to back it up. I follow her into the house where she finger writes her name on the dining room table in the dust. I simply said (as a joke that she didn't appreciate AT ALL), "Well I guess you should dust a little more often". Ever since my sanding has been banished to the driveway. Quote
Guest Radar Posted March 7, 2003 Posted March 7, 2003 Boy you people make me lauph it's a real treat to see were all in the same boat.with the bike and oil. try boiling spark plugs for the snow crucher in her best pot pot. In my house I wear the pants in my family.Its ok she lets me :wink: Quote
Konrad in Lincoln Posted March 7, 2003 Author Posted March 7, 2003 You have rooms that are Off Limits?? :shock: Ok, that's wierd. Have you calculated the square footage reduction of your house since you've lost that room? How does that affect your dollar/sq ft ratio? Have you filed for a tax exemption for that part of the house, or anything? Maybe tell her SHE has to earn the money for the mortgage payment for that square footage or something. See, I've got all KINDS of good marital advice. :shock: Just ask me! Quote
Fintan Murphy Posted March 7, 2003 Posted March 7, 2003 Konrad, you pillock I believe you haven't done any of those things, and are just making them up to impress us. (I thought it's the pregant one that goes weird). My proof is that you are still alive. I rest my case. I just found out a quirk of Irish law, due to the fact that one of my work collegues has just been legally seperated. As you may or not know, divorce was legalised in Ireland a few years ago, whereas "legal seperation" has been around for a while. The law hasn't caught up in some cases, so at the moment Your husband dies - you get a widows pension (same if wife dies). Your ex husband dies, and you are legally seperated - you get no widows pension. BUT, your ex husband dies, and you are divorced - you get a widows pension! (unless you have remarried). - because divorce isn't mentioned in the pension legislation (which was enacted prior to divorce legislation). So the moral is, stay legally seperated, 'cause once you divorce her, it's worth her while again to "off" you. Quote
Russ Sylvester Posted March 7, 2003 Posted March 7, 2003 Nah, she'll just counter with the money that has gone into the boat and the money I'm saving for the next one. She's lately been talking about buying a new house that is bigger, with this kitchen and that bathroom blah, blah, blah. I told her I couldn't care less what the house looks like as long as I get a three car (minimum) garage that is seperate from the house for my workshop. I'll live there and she won't complain at me for the mess. I figure if I'm going to be in the doghouse all the time, it may as well be a doghouse I can enjoy. Quote
captain red Posted March 15, 2003 Posted March 15, 2003 Hi, konrad. This is Captain red. I like it LOL just what I would say to my wife Too. I think you got the psycology thing down to a science. It just blows my wifes circuits when I do something like that and don't let the look bother me, I even sometimes laugh. You see I am somewhat of an aggitator rather good at it sometimes. When my wife starts to explode I just say to her that the reason she acts that way is because she wasn't beaten enough as a child!!! boy does she get pissed. sometimes it's fun to rattle peoples cages. sometimes she rattles mine too!!! One of my philosophys is this if you don't want me to get your goat don't let me know where it's tied ( evil laugh) :twisted: Konrad keep her guessing that keeps her alert . Captain Red Quote
Frank Hagan Posted March 15, 2003 Posted March 15, 2003 See' date=' I've got all KINDS of good marital advice. :shock: Just ask me![/quote'] Yeah, just what I need ... more ways to screw up! At least I can learn from your examples, and they are always funny in that deja-vu kind of way! Quote
Wild_Dingo Posted March 15, 2003 Posted March 15, 2003 Think you were in the shite??... Of course she put on this evil mean and really seriassly p*****d off impression and eldest son and I were lucky to make it out alive!!! :shock: But she lubs us so alls well... after a couple of LONG months in the doghouse!!... And yep thems the computers there... and her good lounge suite serving time as me saw horses :wink: ... the moulds for the canoes were completed though 8) which was lucky or not as theyre still firmly ensconsed in that deep dark chockablock full shed down the back :oops: mmmmm wonder where I can build that Vacationer Im thinkin of?? :twisted: 8) Dont you fellas realize its yer god given right to push the buttons of yer own personal possumpoop?!! :? :roll: sheeesh I thought everyone knew that! 8) They lubs yer even more after its all sorted and they can find everything again!!! And I mean think of the EXPERIENCE!!! 8) Quote
Charlie Jones Posted March 15, 2003 Posted March 15, 2003 hey Dingo- seems I remember a story about cooking something in her kitchen???? Wasn't that a certain Aussie? Quote
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