Ten things my baby boy has taught me...

[Konrad in Lincoln]

In five weeks, he'll be a year old.

Back when my wife told me she was pregnant, I said, "This is it. We just hit the fast-forward button. You're pregnant now, but next week the baby will be graduating from high school".

Well, welcome to my world of fast-forward...

1. Everyone says they "Grow like weeds". Well duh! He's eaten damned near half of all the POTTING SOIL in our plants. :shock: Miracle Grow called last week to ask if they could sponsor our baby.

2. Once they crawl, it's game over. You don't catch up. :oops:

3. I have been to many a PRC rodeo in my time. Let me tell you, them steer wrestlin' cowboys have a cakewalk task compared to me trying to install a diaper on that squirming 11 month old. I throw my hands up in the air each time I'm done, just like the calf ropers.

4. There are certain levels of danger. There's "real" danger like chewing on lamp cords, and then there's "sort of real" danger like repeatedly hitting the power button on the TV. :roll:

5. You will never know the true capacity of your own compassion until you hold your own sick baby in your arms, in the dark, on a work night, at 3:00 a.m., and all you think about is anything you could do to take the discomfort away from them to give them peace.

6. Unopened bags of egg noodles are way better toys than that $45.00 battery-operated thing sitting over in the corner. :?: :!: :?:

7. Everyone likes to see you come into their place of business when you're holding the baby. There is no easier way to be the most popular person in the room. :wink:

8. I am sometimes saddened by the world that my boy is destined to inherit. Surely there is more good than evil, but it's been hard to see lately.

9. I now have a legitemate reason to have movies like Nemo in the house. (not that it stopped me before)

10. I am unashamed to say that I am absolutely pro-life. You will never, ever convince me that a little baby isn't dying during an abortion procedure. People really need to pull their heads out of the sand about this.

Ok, maybe there's one more: Having "number one" really makes you want to have "number two". Hmmm.... . . . .

[capt jake]

LOL and howling to boot!! Mann Konrad, you crack me up. I have to send this to my daughter; our grandson is about 2 months now, this is perfect!!.

You haven't had any of that 'miracle' stuf now.... have you?????

[Russ Sylvester]

A grown up daddy version of Konrad, Who'd of thunk.

It is somewhat strange to see you talking like this. Two or three years ago it was all about seeing how fast and how dangerous you could get. Funny how these things happen.

[Steve Day]

Konrad,

Those are great thoughts. Takes me back to the days when mine were young. No more for us, but a grandchild wouldn't be all bad, would it? :wink:

With your permission, I will send these thought to my two kids, who are 28 & 27.

Thanks for the bright spot this morning.

Steve

[Greg Luckett]

Konrad,

I could not agree with your last point more, and really enjoyed all of your msg. I have 5 children, and 4 grandkids so far.

Try a box of Kleenix. Seems like all the kids like to pull the tissues out. We started giving them as gifts after the second child. Oh, and big empty boxes and empty plastic ice cream tubs.

[Frank Hagan]

Two related thoughts to remember as the baby turns child/teen/young adult:

1) There's big stuff and little stuff. Big stuff kills them. Little stuff does not. Don't worry too much about the volume of the little stuff, but be watchful about the big stuff.

2) One of my favorite uncles prepared me for raising teens when he said "I was always just trying to get along with them until they moved out." I just visited them in Trenton MO, and they both live next door to him. They still get along.

[capt jake]

Try a box of Kleenix. Seems like all the kids like to pull the tissues out. We started giving them as gifts after the second child.

And never leave them alone with a roll of TP! It is funny though!

[Bruce]

I walked into my bathroom the other day and found my 2 year old grandson, buck nekkid sitting on the toilet (not potty trained yet) with a copy of Good old Boat. He looked up at me and said " I'm reading, get out" :lilangel:

I like to have busted a gut laughing, he got this from his other gampaw.

Bruce, boatless

[Greg Luckett]

Now that is FUNNY

Kids, you just gotta love them.

[capt jake]

TOTALLY PRECIOUS!!! This is a great thread!! :)

[Konrad in Lincoln]

Ok, I can add another one.

How about all the STUFF you own in your cupboards?

Chemicals and bad stuff aside, you never realize just how much other crap is in there until you have a baby to take almost-daily inventory for you. :roll:

[Sailor3356]

Now that brings back memory

[Greg Luckett]

#1 and #2 children we gave the "correct" sort of gifts and struggled to encourage them to play with them rather than the pots and pans and empty boxes (and the 8 track tapes)

By our 3rd child for presents at his birthdays and Christms,we gave him things he seemed to like most to play with. Empty boxes and Kleenix boxes full of Kleenix that he could take out without being scolded. He was 1 or 2 then, went to that gift first, emptied the box, then tried to restuff it, and emptied it again, over and over. He also got the normal toys but he always liked the boxes and the Kleenix best. He used to scare us because he would catch scorpions by the tail and flail them to death.

#4 child (Sam) liked boxes and spiders (ugh) and the New Yankee Workshop.

#5 (Ben) liked vacuum cleaners and tools and boxes and bugs too.

Of course they have either grown or are growning up to be normal kids, at least as compared to their peers.