For Daddy Konrad... (poor Lisa!)

[Bruce S Kershaw]

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas:

Things I've learned from my children (honest and no kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000-sq. ft. house four

inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller

blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough

to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is

strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four

walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a

ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you

get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a

ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too

late. (No matter how old the child!)

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year

old man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk

on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they

do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like

ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin, TX, has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid

[capt jake]

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

If ALL it makes is smoke, you are lucky. Proabably because clorox is not as strong of an oxidizer as granular chlorine is.

during a haz-mat class we demonstrated the effect of mixing incompatible compounds. Hydrocarbon and an oxidizer equals LOTS of flame and extreme heat. One pint of each in a doffee can blew flames over 30' in the air and burnt teh graound 3 feet around the can. It sounded like a jet engine when it went off.

Uhhh..... Don't try this at home, that is why I am posting this.

[Knut]

Bruce,

hilarious :!: :!: :!: :!:

I laughed so much I had to stop reading so I could get the tears out of my eyes to continue reading. It all reminded me a lot about the tricks my brother and me invented, sometimes with the good help of our friends.

Thanks for the laugh

[tomstock]

Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke' date=' and lots of it.

[/quote']

If ALL it makes is smoke, you are lucky. Proabably because clorox is not as strong of an oxidizer as granular chlorine is.

Can verify, flames 30 feet tall. Any moisture in the container causes the reaction happen almost INSTANTLY.

-tom

[barnacle5]

how did you weather the storms? did the balboa come through them unharmed? always liked that boat and glad you breathed new life into her.

I finally got to sail the Nordica 16 this fall. a nice boat and I like it. here is a pic of her and my boat tender. barnacle bill

[attachment over 4 years old deleted by admin]

[Frank Hagan]

Jake, the most explosive chlorine I know about is calcium hypochlorite ... sold in tablet form (PACE tablets) but more often in granular form as "shock treatment". If you spill it on the garage floor, and sweep it up along with dirt or sawdust, it can explode. If you stick one of the tabs in a chlorine feeder along with the non-organic tablets (tri-chloro-something), it will generate enough heat to blow the chlorine feeder 40' in the air (and shrapnel all over the yard). Why they still allow the stuff to be sold is beyond me!

[JMetzner]

Bruce,

And do your really expect Konrad NOT to try at least 5 of the items on the list?!?!?!? I don't want to think about the batman underwear....

-- John M.

[Greg Luckett]

I am hiding this from the boys.

Hmmm...chlorox and brake fluid?

[Russ Sylvester]

I wouldn't try the brake fuid and pool shock trick. It goes off VERY violently, the smoke is pretty toxic, and water only makes it worse. This was one of the types of fires that we lit off in our fire science & investigation classes. It shows how a fuel and an oxidizer will combust extremely violently. There are many other types of 'fires' from household chemicals that don't require a match but I won't list them.

Russ

[capt jake]

Ahh, Russ, you take all of the fun out of it! :)

[Bruce Kershaw]

Um................... Or, at least he did a little over five years ago. :turn-l:

[capt jake]

Um................... Or, at least he did a little over five years ago. :turn-l:

I saw that is was a resurrected thread yesterday.  I could have swarn that Russ' post was from yesterday.  'twasn't I that searched it out! :)

[Konrad]

1.  My evenings used to be spend making sawdust and getting Weldwood out of my hair.

2.  Now my evenings are spent debating whether bugs talk to each other with their hands(?), hearing about how they caught the cat and stuck a pair of underpants on it, or deciding who's a better Jedi:  Obi Wan or Luke.

Ages 4 and 6 have GOT to be the best years of this whole kid gig.