Konrad in Lincoln Posted October 26, 2004 Posted October 26, 2004 Ok, so I get home from work, and I'm in the family room with the fam. The three players in this story are: Me: Working husband, father of one 16 month old boy. My Wife: Part-time working mom, almost done with the first trimester of Number Two. Always feels nauseous, ALL the time. Collin: 16 month old boy, has about 4 words, and generally runs around like a wild indian. So we finish dinner in the family room and I'm in the kitchen putting stuff away, and Lisa says, "We've got a PROBLEM..." This can't be good. :? Seems Collin is on the floor playing with some toy, and he has what we Americans now call a "Wardrobe Malfunction". In other words, he filled up his diaper, and I'm not talking about on the front side. And the thing has leaked onto the carpet. :shock: :shock: :shock: Well, holy crap. (so to speak) I look over the situation as Lisa takes the boy into the bathroom, holding him at arm's length. I'm left standing there looking at the floor, which apparently I've been volounteered to deal with. Before I can make any sort of assessment, I hear my pregnant wife and Collin in the bathroom: He's now squallering like a stuck pig, and I can hear her ralphing into (I hope) the toilet. Seems the smell was too much for her. So I enter the doubly-foul bathroom and take Collin at arm's length and go immediately outside, leaving my poor bride to her own devices in the bathroom. Now, mind you, Collin is at that age where he'll steer-wrestle you every inch of the way when it comes to putting on or taking off ANY piece of clothing. So the poop-wrestling match ensued outside the door on the welcome mat. For most of the match, he clearly had the upper hand with the old "I'll sqirm until I smear poop on you" move. You don't believe me? I quote Darth Vadar: "You don't know the power of the Dark Side..." In a few minutes, my wife had recovered and we tag-teamed him out on the ground and with the garden hose and about 30 wet wipes, managed to get the foul substance off of him and most of his clothing. Lisa then tended to herself and the wreckage of the bathroom. Luckily my mom happened to be there, and she proceeded to clean up the carpet with the quiet stoicism that only a mother can have in a moment like this. (Moms are great like that.) It was ten minutes that seemed like ten hours. And all that told, I must say that we're still laughing about it right now. Quote
Andrew Posted October 26, 2004 Posted October 26, 2004 Konrad This is one of those episodes that you will remember long after the smell has gone - and it's a good one to remember for Colin's 21st party. It's times like this you know you are a 'family', you wouldn't do this sort of thing for just anyone. One of my 'events to remember' happend on a four hour drive from my in-laws house back to home. My youngest was 6 months at the time (I've got three) and we decided to stop halfway and change her nappy. As soon as we put the new nappy under her (the last one of course!) she pooped. We were dreading having her in the baby capsule for two hours with no protection, so my wife (nothing phases her after 3 kids) took out a 'sanitary napkin' (is that understandable in the US) and put this under her. It was the longest 2 hour car trip of our lives - and of course - no accidents all that way. Andrew Quote
John Turpin Posted October 26, 2004 Posted October 26, 2004 God makes babies cute so you don't kill them. Quote
capt jake Posted October 26, 2004 Posted October 26, 2004 If it makes things any better; we have to go through this every other weekend or so when the grandson comes over to 'visit'. :) I had forgotten how foul that smell is! Yeah, kids are cute! Enjoy them while you can; before you know it, they are grown and gone. Leaves me wishing I had done a lot of things different during their youth. A lot of things....... Quote
Greg Luckett Posted October 27, 2004 Posted October 27, 2004 How true it is what you say, Capt Jake. Konrad, having been there myself, I truly enjoyed the laugh your story gave me.....thank you. Quote
Ken_Potts Posted October 27, 2004 Posted October 27, 2004 Konrad, thank you - That was great! One of the things I really love about this boat forum is that it's not just boats I'm childless so I can't really say I've been there but there was the time that my friend's kid (my favorite little boy who shall remain nameless in case he ever runs for president) was running around au natural while mommy went to get a change of clothes for him. He started laughing hysterically at something so I went to join in the fun and found him standing in the thing he found so funny. Naturally he was so happy he HAD to have a hug (he's a generous kid and likes to share his joy) so he ran to me, tracking it along with him. The thing I found to be the most hilarious was my total paralysis - "Uh, Kim! He's uh... Kim? Hey um... Kim??? Hmm - Yeah, looky there..." To her credit, Kim found my reaction funny enough that she wasn't too upset about the cleanup - In about 18 years I'm going to let that kid know he owes me for diffusing the situation Quote
markfitz Posted November 13, 2004 Posted November 13, 2004 reminds me of my buddy's kid -- filled up the diaper nice, then sat down hard. Shot straight up his back, and all over the wall. Good times.... Quote
Craig Posted November 13, 2004 Posted November 13, 2004 Just sitting here smiling K-Rad. Ya gotta love em. Or, feed them to the pigs while thier bones are soft as my Gran always said. Quote
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