Thank you both for the help.
A little status update and comments for anyone else considering doing the same at some point ( I will try to update again when its fully done).
Despite some uncertaintly I have rolled ahead with the varnish but I did have a chat with a guy at the marine store as well (who used to live on a wooden boat and "has a bit of experience" with the product).
Guidance was to a certain degree that my controlled indoor finishing environment was part of the problem. Summarizing:
*Do it outside (preferably in the shade) on a low humidity day (40% ideal, 60% max) then move it into the sun to help it dry as fast as possible. People otherwise use heaters and fans. This is likely where I went wrong, it was a humid day when I did my coaming, indoors with AC, the AC probably helped with the humidity and I could have later let it sit somewhere warm but I did not.
*Basically after a certain point if its not dried it might not because the hardeners that are involved in the curing will be less effective (not sure about the chemical reason for this either used up or whatever).
*The third coat can trap the second between it and the first if it is not completely dry and cause problems. People will use thinners to help this along especially when the end of the season is nearing and they really need to launch their wooden boat. [I am using the 216 thinner for the second and and probably third coats for help this along]
*If something is gummy after a couple days (as per #2 above) it might not harden. if this happens rather than stripping it down sometime there is nothing to lose trying another coat of the varnish as the hardeners can help finish the job. I did this with the coaming and it seems to have helped. It is at the very least no worse than before.
I also used a roller to help ensure an even coat. I feel that with the finish, because its very picky about overcoating, above and behond aethetics having an even coat is super important. Patience is also key, rushing a new coat onto one not yet dried will be trouble.
So far I am on my first coat for the deck and second coat for the haul. It is raining today here and humid so no finishing to be done.
In terms of the fabric, the areas where I strunk with the iron seemed to stay closed and I like the look so far, after coat #3 it will be an amber. The areas where the fabric has dimpled at my my sloppy sewing or areas I did not go over with the iron.
One thing I should add: when I painted the haul I did it in the shade, when I did the deck I did it in the sun. I saw that the fabric was getting seemed somewhat loser or at least seemed stretchy even before I applied the first coat. I think this could be a factor in peoples finishing troubles. Had I really carelessly pressed into the fabric with the roller I would have caused sagging.
Would I do it again? Well, to be honest I am still not clear what else to buy since almost everything people recommend is not available here in Canada, known to cause loosening or discontinued. That said I can get oil based Kilz and I saw someone had a good result with that, I would try that.
Again I will try to update this when complete and floating for anyone considering the same thing. so far this is all academic but at the very least it could make some great wall art/light diffuser...