Stupidity knows no bounds

[Fintan Murphy]

A while ago I was getting supplies for the boat, and I found that ducktape were doing a new type of tape. "Power Tape" it was called, and it was fabric backed. The best thing about it was that it was not only waterproof, but see-through. "Yes", I thought, I never liked the thought of the silver colured ducktape on the tarp, which was white. This tape would not even be noticed.

Move on to tonight, when I am making the sails. I measure once, twice, three times, and cut to perfection. I then get my tape and marker and mark centre points every four inches as per the plans. I punch the holes along the boom and gaff where the tape will stick to itself and give my sails near-immortality.

I start to stick the tape down and only then I realise (what you've probably guessed dear readers)..........

Since the feckin' tape is see-through, I can see through the holes every four inches :shock:

So it's back to the hardware store tomorrow to get some coloured ducktape. :oops:

I hope they have it in blue

What a putz. :!:

[Frank Hagan]

Haven't heard "feckin" used in a sentence since my daughter came back from Ireland!

They do have duct tape in colours over here, but mostly primary colours like red and blue. The grey tape works well with grey polytarp too. But it does look funny on the blue tarps.

(See, I even spelled "colours" wrong for you!)

[capt jake]

I have seen yellow, but alas, no blue. though it seems there was a website that deals in polytarps that has color matched tape; now where is that......?

How about this place!! they have blue..

http://store.yahoo.com/tarpusa/tarptape.html

Only a quick Google for poly tarp.....

[Tim Diebert]

I see...the Irish spell colour the canadian way....and here I thought we spelled it that way because of the french side of canadian-ness.

...did you find a new trailer maker yet Fintan?

My wife and I love Irish movies...or at least movies made in Ireland. So I hear feckin awl da time eh.

[Fintan Murphy]

Tim,

the trailer maker is very busy, and for good reason. He is the best one around, and will eventually make the trailer. I just have to keep hounding his ass. I know he will come good in the end.

"Feck", one of the great Irish curse words. It can be used in polite company, in front of, and by, the fairer sex, and even in front of your mother. :shock:

I don't know if you have it over in America, but there is a clothing label in Europe called French Connection - UK, which produced T-shirts with FCUK boldly printed on the front. Obviously it takes a double take to read it.

Not to be outdone, some enterprising students in Ireland started producing T-shirts with FCEK on them.

I'm on the Blue Ducktape hunt tonight. Are they in season?

[Stump]

That whole tape incident sounds like something I'd do...I'm glad you did it first :twisted:

[Frank Hagan]

"Friggen" is used in place of the standard F-word in movies they adapt for TV here, but I have at least on two occasions heard "feckin" used in TV shows. I can't remember which shows now, but they were in the class of TV shows I call "stupid sitcoms".

Curses aside, how is the blue duct tape hunt going?

[Florin {VACATIONER}]

Never heard the term feckin'... but it is definitely a good replacement word for my mom.

Here's one I like with some substituted feckin' words. Enjoy!!!

PART ONE

Two Newfies walk into a pet shop. They go directly over to the bird

section.

Willie says to Paddy, "Dat's dem."

The clerk comes over and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we'll

take four of dem dere budgies in dat cage op dere," says Willie.

"Just put dem in a peeper bag."

The clerk puts the budgies in a bag, and the two guys pay for the

birds and leave the shop.

They get into Willie's van and drive until they are high up

on a hill, and stop at the top of a cliff with a 500-foot drop.

"Dis looks loike a grand place, eh?" says Willie.

He then takes two birds out of the bag, places them on his shoulders

and jumps off the cliff.

Paddy watches as his mate drops off the edge and goes straight down

for a few seconds, before he hits the rocks below with a 'SPLAT!'.

As Paddy looks down he shakes his head and says, "Feck dat, dis

budgie jumpin' is too feckin' dangerous for me."

PART TWO

A minute later, Seamus arrives. He too has been to the pet shop and

he walks up carrying a 'peeper bag'.

He pulls a parrot out of the bag, and then Paddy notices that, in

his other hand, Seamus is carrying a gun.

Hi, Paddy. Watch dis," Seamus says and launches himself over the

edge of the cliff.

Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and blows

the parrot's head off.

Seamus continues to plummet until there is another 'SPLAT!' and his

remains join Willie's at the bottom.

Paddy shakes his head and says, "An' oim never troyin' dat

parrotshooting needer."

PART THREE

A few minutes after Seamus has gone splat, Sean strolls up. He too

has been to the pet shop, and he walks up carrying the now familiar 'peeper

bag'.

Instead of a parrot, he pulls a chicken out of the bag, and launches

himself off the cliff with the usual result.

Once more Paddy shakes his head.

"Feck me, Sean!

First der was Gerry wit his budgie jumping,

den Seamus parrotshooting and now you feckin' hen glidin..."

[Dave Ruedel]

Or the two guys who decided to go down to Mexico and open a new Bungee jump franchise. After a crowd gathered at the platform, one guy went up to demonstrate to them. A few minutes later he came back with 2 black eyes, a bloody nose, and welts all over his body.

"Make the cord too long?" the other guy asked.

"No, cord was just right. What's a pinatta?"

[Fintan Murphy]

I bagged me some duct tape.

I got to the shop (store), and there was an array of coloured duct tape. I then decided that white would look far better than blue, which to my mind might look "homemade".

Anyway, I bought a couple of rolls of white, and finished the main at home. The white looks the business as it has the same weave as the polytarp, and looks like it was always there. I just have to put the reef points in and it's done.

So I called Irene out to "ohhh and ahhh" at my new beautiful main, and in typical female fashon she zones in on the one defect. "Why are those grommets a different colour to the rest"? So I had to explain that the silver ones are the original ones from the tarp, All the brass ones are the ones that I put in.

Women :roll:

By the way this sailmaking is a blast - very satisfying. After all, anything that requires repeated hammer blows is always fun

[Dave Ruedel]

Well. it sounds like you are about ready to hit the waternow. Congratulations on the sail.

[Stump]

oohh, hammer...I like to hammer...maybe that is why my boat looks the way it does?...and so do my thumbs :wink: Can't wait to get to sail making now, thanks for the encouragement :twisted: