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   The Little Known History of Vienna Sausage


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Just in case some of y'all missed the discussion about this subject, I thought I'd put it all together for ya right here.

 

   Just last week several of us old salts were discussing the merits of various boating foods. Naturally, Vienna sausages came up. My comments about my favorite lunch time snack instigated a spirited discussion about the obvious merits of this time honored mealtime tradition. I’ll just add a few comments from the gang before telling y’all the true story of what Vienna sausage is and where it came from.

   Scott said, “Come on Chick,,,, Vienna sausages where made to test the flushing action of marine heads and can be used for emergency fish bait! Also make great puppy treats but if you read the small print they were never intended for human consumption.” To which I replied, “Scott, WHAAAATTT? Vienna sausages are the standard by which all other boating foods are judged against! I LOVE my V.S. Actually, one of the best things about them as they don't need to be cooked. They are easy. If ya can get 'em outa de can, that is”

   Jay chimed in with, “In my working career, we ordered cases of Vienna sausages..... and used them for bait to catch amberjack!  A worthy conversion!”

   Scott came back with, “ I think we need to start a boat food thread! To call VS a food is a long stretch, as Crocodile Dundee said, it will keep you alive but tastes like @$%#. Chick you are not alone in this, think of the millions that stop at McDonalds and think that is food. Chicken nuggets are made in a similar way as VS. Its pressed stuff blown up with oil, fat and other stuff to make you think you are eating something of value. My brother thinks VS are related to fine steak, he's a full time live aboard boat person. But then again he thinks instant coffee is heaven sent also. Spam is at least made from pork shoulders and not parts of all the critters on the Arc. I don't care for it but my mental state has been questioned before. Cooking is the thing I look forward to when I drop the hook. Get a BBQ grill and enjoy the adventure of cooking, good book, music and the sunsets.”

   Paul, who is the undisputed expert on most everything said, “ BTW those VS thingies aren't food, much like spray cheese in a can isn't cheese. I'm not sure what they are, but it is interesting that they appeared on the market just as above ground atomic testing was in full swing. Possibly some test victims, grazing about during the tests, that have been feeding the world ever since? I mean how many VS's can you get from a 1,500 pound side of unnaturally warmed beef? Stuff it through a multi cylindrical holed mold and poof, hundreds of VS's per second . . . Just saying . . .”

   Oyster said, “ I have kept  two cans of it in my dry box for years. We used to use it on the charter boats and would actually warm it up on the manifolds of the diesel engines right along side of our baloney sandwiches wrapped in foil. Simplicity at its finest......”

 

   Well guys, I’ve done gone and done a bit of studying up on this very subject. I’ve researched all of the histerical records from back in the day, including actual early news reels taken from the colonial days of America. So, following is what I learned from my scholarly enterprise.

    I've got it on good authority that VS is actually grown on a plant, so is not a meat byproduct at all.  It looks kinda like a green bean plant except bigger and browner. Usually the VS grow in clumps of three "sausages" and there are two or three clumps per plant. The plants need to be fertilized with hog waste about every six weeks of the growing season to impart the best flavor. When they are soft and kinda gushy feeling, they are picked and the rotted ends cut off to the precise length for them to fit in those little cans. Then they are soaked in salt water from hog waste ponds that have been overflowed by hurricane storm surge waters, and then immediately canned.

 

   The secret of this process was discovered by pirates way back during colonial times after a major storm had blown some of the native sausage beans into a nearby wild hog pen kept by a local Indian tribe. The pirates had been blown ashore and were searching for something to eat while they were re-floating their ship, when one of them picked up a bean that was floating past and absentmindedly popped it in his mouth. He found it YERY good! It's rumored that old Black Beard himself convinced Governor Eden to begin canning the beans so that he, Blackbeard, could smuggle them out of the colonies to his contacts in the Caribbean. It's a little known fact that today, although sold under several separate brand names, Vienna sausages all come from two or three closely guarded secret farms  that are still owned by descendants of those same Indians. And the canning plants are owned by descendants of the Eden and Beard families. As a matter of fact, the tradition of packing in those little cans began back in those days. They were all that was available in the old Carolina colony at the time.

 

   One of the best documents that I found quite by accident had been lost for years. It was an old  authentic pirate map that had fallen down behind some shelves. I was fortunate enough to find it while searching the archives of the Vienna Sausage Museum located on the grounds of the old Eden plantation. The map seems to indicate the location of one of these original Indian VS bean farms not far from the Bay River.  Later on, after the United States came to be, a VS packing plant was built in the ruins of an old blue crab packing plant that had been built at the same spot as that particular Indian hog farm.

   By now, I'm sure that some of you are asking, "Why are they called Vienna sausages? That's not an Indian name, nor does it sound like a pirate name." Well, the answer is really quite simple. At the time that Governor Eden was beginning to try to perfect the canning of the beans, it just so happened that a member of one of the great food processing families of Vienna, the Baron Von Schtinklhunt, was visiting, and he was able to convey the secret of the canning process. The governor wanted to honor the man, but for obvious reasons, the gentleman didn't want his name used, so he suggested that they be named after his home town instead. And there you have it. The secret, never before revealed origins of the wonderful Vienna sausage.

 

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6 hours ago, Chick Ludwig said:

 . . . an old  authentic pirate map that had fallen down behind some shelves. I was fortunate enough to find it while searching the archives of . . .

 

I think Chick was what fell down, probably behind the shelves, looking for the other bottle of rum he stashed . . .

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I don't know if it fell behind the shelves or not but  I did just lose my lunch.  Chick and I already had our discussion of the merits of Southern Sweet Tea while ghosting along on Summer Breeze this afternoon.  Its clear that Chick was fed a bottle of undiluted Karo Syrup on his first feeding out of the gate. 

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On ‎10‎/‎21‎/‎2017 at 7:49 PM, Tom Lathrop said:

I don't know if it fell behind the shelves or not but  I did just lose my lunch.  Chick and I already had our discussion of the merits of Southern Sweet Tea while ghosting along on Summer Breeze this afternoon.  Its clear that Chick was fed a bottle of undiluted Karo Syrup on his first feeding out of the gate. 

Sorry you did not make it on sat. While there was no VS consumed, there was plenty of grub to take its place, including deserts! And you missed a ride in my stinkpotter to boot.

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Hey Tom, ya got it wrong---no Karo. Guess I'd better get the facts straight for ya. Facts, just the facts, mamm. (Sorry, a quote from Dragnet. If ya don't understand, you aren't old enough.)

Anyway, check out the Real Southern Sweet Tea story on this forum. i know it's not really about boats, but i DO drink a lot of it when I'm boating.

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