As a basic rule I sheet in my main to just inside the gunwale and then the mizzen comes in more. This opens the slot and increase wind speed through it. I set the main first, then tweak the mizzen till the tell tales stream smoothly.
Sail shape is based on wind speed. In light winds it is easy to stall to weather by sheeting in too much or over flattening the sails. As to reefing, I find that the easiest decision to make. If I can't keep the boat flat, or near flat most of the time I reef. In a gust I sheet the main out a tad and dump some wind rather than feather up too much. This keeps the boat driving through waves. In really light winds I move way forward and to lee to reduce wetted surface area and the heel helps keep sail shape ready for the next puff of wind. I am always testing the wind, from falling off a tad much to feathering up a tad much, always looking for the sweet spot.