Konrad in Lincoln Posted April 4, 2003 Report Share Posted April 4, 2003 As you may recall, the whiff is preggers. So she signs us up for all these danged baby classes and drags me to them. Now, I'll give credit where credit is due, and the infant first aid was a good one. You learn about infant CPR, choking, car seat safety, stuff like that. Good stuff to know. But... She took me to the first breastfeeding class last night. Ummm... :shock: :shock: :shock: So this morning we get up, and she says to me, "You know, when we go to these night classes, I come home, fall asleep immediately, and then dream about baby stuff all through the night." I replied back to her, "Yeah, I know what you mean. I fell asleep and dreamed about other women's breasts all night." I'm no longer required to attend those classes, YES! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sailor3356 Posted April 4, 2003 Report Share Posted April 4, 2003 Happy wife, happy life. :roll: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fintan Murphy Posted April 4, 2003 Report Share Posted April 4, 2003 Yea, the wives of the two guys I work with have just had babies. So I'm getting all the gory details of breastfeeding without any of the advantages. :? Never mind the description of the actual births. :shock: :shock: I mean, when you come to work and the guys who used to say "great game last night" to each other are now asking if her waters broke, you know the world's gone to hell in a handbasket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Hagan Posted April 4, 2003 Report Share Posted April 4, 2003 I agree with Fintan on this one. I have a pregnant employee, and all the women are excited about it. I just hope she doesn't repeat what the last one did: her water broke in the office, and we couldn't convince her to call her doctor. Had to finally threaten to use my office to birth the baby to get her to call. Her office chair was cleaned, but no one would use it, so it sat in "quaranteen" until she came back. Had to buy a new chair for the temp to use while she was out. With my own kids, I went through the supportive husband thing too. The classes are bunk. The main thing I need to tell you Konrad, and they won't tell you this in the classes, is DON'T LOOK OR YOU WILL NEVER EAT PIZZA AGAIN. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe(Cold Spring onHudson) Posted April 4, 2003 Report Share Posted April 4, 2003 As you may recall' date=' the whiff is preggers. So this morning we get up, and she says to me, "You know, when we go to these night classes, I come home, fall asleep immediately I replied back to her, "Yeah, I know what you mean. I fell asleep [/quote'] The above quote edited for example shows the primary difference between being preggers and having a baby. The ability to SLEEP :shock: :shock: Konrad - Enjoy ALL the time you can with the wiff because you are about to have seriouse competition. Also enjoy the time you and the wiff can sleep Word of advice remove your wedding band during labor. If SWIMBO grabs your ring hand you will not be able to move your ring hand. Also I took the bleacher seat as opposed to the catchers position - I'm glad I did :shock: I would have prefered the Blarney Stone Bar Position but once you start the classes your expected to show up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stuart Benbow Posted April 4, 2003 Report Share Posted April 4, 2003 The main thing I need to tell you Konrad' date=' and they won't tell you this in the classes, is [b']DON'T LOOK OR YOU WILL NEVER EAT PIZZA AGAIN.[/b] That will learn me to eat lunch at my desk to catch up on posts! Geez, I passed on pizza, but spagetti and meatballs is looking kinda rough after reading this. I've had two kids so I have the unfortunate visual that goes with it. I agree with Joe, sleep is my best friend ... wish we could spend more time together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Anonymous Posted April 4, 2003 Report Share Posted April 4, 2003 The main thing I need to tell you Konrad' date=' and they won't tell you this in the classes, is [b']DON'T LOOK OR YOU WILL NEVER EAT PIZZA AGAIN.[/b] You know,, I was a Paramedic for 3 years on one of the 10 busiest ambulance units in the country. I also attended a few live births in the field myself. Never had problems wwith any sights or gore. I also nearly passed out watching my son being born. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Anonymous Posted April 4, 2003 Report Share Posted April 4, 2003 The main thing I need to tell you Konrad' date=' and they won't tell you this in the classes, is [b']DON'T LOOK OR YOU WILL NEVER EAT PIZZA AGAIN.[/b] You know,, I was a Paramedic for 3 years on one of the 10 busiest ambulance units in the country. I also attended a few live births in the field myself. Never had problems wwith any sights or gore. I also nearly passed out watching my son being born. OOps. guess I am not signed in with this computer. Ray Frechette Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Luckett Posted April 4, 2003 Report Share Posted April 4, 2003 Konrad, I have 5 children and was there for each of their births. I would not trade that for anything, but I never wanted to be in the "catchers" position. I always stayed by my wife's head and helped her cope as much as I could. This is very hard on the hand too. Women seem to get a death grip while having contractions. I learned to respect even more the mother of my children for what she went through for our family. One other thing. Learn to catnap. It will help you for the next 20 years or so. Greg Luckett Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sailor3356 Posted April 4, 2003 Report Share Posted April 4, 2003 What whimps, you go out sailing in all kinds of weather. Half drown in storms, Survive the job place and you can't stand the idea of childbirth. There Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capt jake Posted April 4, 2003 Report Share Posted April 4, 2003 If you want the hard part wait tell they are teenagers. Amen to that!!! :D On another note: I replied back to her, "Yeah, I know what you mean. I fell asleep and dreamed about other women's breasts all night." I'm no longer required to attend those classes, YES! ROTFLMAO, again! :) Konrad, you are a crack up! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Luckett Posted April 5, 2003 Report Share Posted April 5, 2003 Sailor3356, Did you get a discount from the medical people for doing the "catching"? Greg Luckett Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JMetzner Posted April 5, 2003 Report Share Posted April 5, 2003 Konrad, You think doing the breathing coach thing is easy now. Just wait buddy, try it for the next 54 hours straight and let me know. I'll check with you on Monday. Hell, I was tired from just doing THAT, can't imagine how the wife felt. When we went to delivery, the DR. laid down the rules to me, "You stay on that side of the screen, I stay on this side." No problems except the sound of the episiotomy. Yow! I'll never forget that sound, geeze gives me the willies thinkin' about it. John M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
captain red Posted April 5, 2003 Report Share Posted April 5, 2003 I got to hand it to you Konrad, you come up with some good ones. If your wife is any kind of a prankster just wait till she squirts you across the room. :shock: :shock: I would like to hear how you get out of jury duty, I need some suggestions :wink: I wish you the best with your wife and new baby when he or she arrives. Sincerely, Captain red 8) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Konrad in Lincoln Posted April 5, 2003 Author Report Share Posted April 5, 2003 Thanks, Red! As for the jury duty.... The two times I've been petitioned (or whatever it's called), I just answered the questionaire in such a way that made me look like I'd be biased. If you study those questions, you can get a feel for the target audience they're after. You want to *not* fit that profile. The last one I got had questions about "Have you ever been the victim of a crime?". Well, sort of, yes. Our family construction company has had tools stolen from the jobsite, so I said "Theft". Once someone sprayed grafitti on one of our buildings, so I said "Vandalism". (that also works if someone has door dinged your car pretty good. You can also say "hit and run") You don't have to say something like "I hate all ___ and ___ !!!" Fill in your own racial slur. (although I'm sure it would work if you did that) Yes, I'm a bad citizen for avoiding jury duty. Sorry. I have enough moral judgements to make in my job with the architects, I don't want to have to do it even more in a courtroom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capt jake Posted April 5, 2003 Report Share Posted April 5, 2003 Hmm, I have been called for jury duty 2 times. Both times I htough I answered as to not be picked. Both times I did. Actually, mush to my surprise, I enjoyed both times. It was rather dull, but you have to pay attention to all of the goings on. One was attempted murder, and we let him off with a lighter sentence. the next was a total insurance fraud, but i really didn;t have a say in the outcome,. Let's say iItotaly disaggred (expecially when I saw her, the plaintiff, the next day......doing what she said she couldnt). It can be an enlightening adventure, if you let it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Hagan Posted April 5, 2003 Report Share Posted April 5, 2003 My county has a "one day or one trial" limit on jury duty, and the last time I went I was picked in the first group. Drunk driver -- we knew he probably did it -- but geeze, guys, you have to have him actually driving a car at some point to call it drunk driving! They picked him up at his friend's house three hours after the "incident", and he was indeed drunk. The star witness couldn't ID him as the guy who was driving ... in a dramatic moment, the DA said "Is that man in this room?" and the witness said "I don't think so." DA said "Uh, well, would you say the defendent was that man" and she said "hmmm, not really. He did have a beard, though." The DA says "ma'm, do you remember speaking with me before the trial? When you said ..." and the defense attorney said "Objection!" and the judge said "sustained" and the excitement was over. The rest of the time, we heard in minute detail how blood tests detect alcohol, how police do their jobs, etc. But they never actually placed the drunk in a car when he was drunk. He says he got drunk at home. So he got off with a "not guilty" and we all felt a little cheated. Seemed like such a waste of time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Pennington Posted April 5, 2003 Report Share Posted April 5, 2003 I agree with the wait till thier teenagers, then twenties and the next thing you know it is GrandPa will you baby sit? Jury duty, just finished up my last tour. Judge held us for two hours, both defendents copped a plea. The judge came over to the jurier room and appollogized for keeping us waiting, and he was real sorry he had called us in for nothing. He did say that we would be bumped to the bottom of the list and he was sorry to break this news to us, but we probably wouldn't be called back. Of coarse I had to open my big mouth and say, "So, in other words your doing us a big favor, right?" I thought it was funny, Ya Hoo! I have been on the jury, or a witness for the State to many times to say, "oh boy, jury duty!" Yea, yea, civic duty! The judge just looked at me with a serious frown, dang, can't take a joke. But I didn't let him ruin my day, I wasn't locked up for half the day for two months, waiting to say hang em high, their guilty as sin. Nope, I am home playing with my puddle jumpers. And I think Daddy Konrad has a nice ring to it. Say Konrad, Daddy-O, do twins run on either side of your family? Triplets? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sailor3356 Posted April 5, 2003 Report Share Posted April 5, 2003 Did I get a discount for being the one to deliver the baby, Don't know the insurance company paid for it. Did I just catch the baby? No I had to work the shoulders out. And yes I did the breathing with her. And no I'm not in the medical field. It was a great experience you should give it a try. The doctors will let you if every thing is going all right. Jury duty, ya I've been there. Was picked the first day and then told that I was predigest, but I still don't know what for. Maybe because I have daughters and it was a rap case. :twisted: But if he was guilty the should just hang em. Oops :oops: did I say that. Oh well read three books before the end of jury duty and got paid for it. So it wasn't bad, except for the chairs... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Pennington Posted April 6, 2003 Report Share Posted April 6, 2003 Oh Yeah! I was excused once for being a Hostile Jurior. I call them the way I see them, and not to many get away either. :roll: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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